When I was a teenager I was very... well... expressive. I remember hearing in response to my tone "you know it's not what you say, it's how you say it."
Even then, I understood that they weren't necessarily objecting to my position, but that I was not exactly creating an environment ripe for collaboration.
Now that I'm on the other side, there are times with my own...
My search continued to narrow into more and more gentle approaches. I relied more on the feeling that I had in my body to tell me if what I was reading was right for us.
My litmus test became “Does this create more trust, or less?”
It helped to clarify whether the appeal for me was my own convenience or in deepening the connection between me and my child.
Ditch the fear.
They will learn.
Shaming, blaming or withdrawing from them won't accelerate their learning.
It won't teach them what you want them to learn.
It will teach them that your love is conditional.
Drop the idea that discipline and punishment are interchangeable.
Discipline is rooted in guidance.
Punishment is motivated by revenge.
Punishment teaches them that they can't te...