When we access non-judgment, we open the doors to seeing the world through another’s perspective. We get curious and wonder what their experience might be like. We relate to their universal human needs which enables us to access generosity and compassion within to meet that child’s needs in a way that still honors our own.
When I believe my child is vindictive, I act in vindictive ways.
I become tense, angry, prone to punishment, blame and aggression.
I see how my reactivity (and my own vindictive behavior) decreases compassion and trust and peace in my relationship.
What I want to foster is understanding, forgiveness, calm listening and the ability to be angry without hurting another.
Ditch the fear.
They will learn.
Shaming, blaming or withdrawing from them won't accelerate their learning.
It won't teach them what you want them to learn.
It will teach them that your love is conditional.
Drop the idea that discipline and punishment are interchangeable.
Discipline is rooted in guidance.
Punishment is motivated by revenge.
Punishment teaches them that they can't te...