IT'S ALL ABOUT ALIGNMENT
A few years ago, I sat along side of the bathtub as my daughter refused to let me wash her hair. Her hair with food and sand in it. The hair that soon would become a knotted mass. The sticky hair that I really didn’t want to be rubbing all over her sheets. No, not more laundry. I dug my heels in and told her that she HAD TO get her hair washed. She was protesting too.
It got ugly.
I was bigger, stronger, faster. It wasn’t physically hard to wash her hair, but emotionally, I just didn’t feel right about how I was treating her. I don’t want to handle my child in a way that makes her cry or feel afraid, to not trust that I will respect her wishes and her body.
How could I hold my needs for her cleanliness and health while at the same time listening to her, trying to understand her and responding to her in a way that feels safe and supportive, without resorting to force, coercion, shame, or guilt to get compliance?
Is it possible?
Is there something more?
And if such a thing exists, where can I find out how?
I thought: there must be another way.
All the while, I was reading… I read a lot.
While I read to “beware of baby trainers” and to trust that a parent’s instincts far outweigh that of an “expert,” I still tried popular “expert” methods that while sometimes were effective, didn’t quite feel right to me.
I read more.
My search continued to narrow into more and more gentle approaches. I relied more on the feeling that I had in my body to tell me if what I was reading was right for us.
My litmus test became “Does this create more trust, or less?”
It helped to clarify whether the appeal for me was my own convenience or in deepening the connection between me and my child.
After a few years of trying to figure out how to parent in alignment with my values for trust and respect, while still honoring my own needs, I can tell you that there IS another way.
So here we are. My ever-evolving quest to align my thoughts, actions and beliefs with my values has brought me to create offerings that I wished existed when I was just beginning to research gentle parenting practices. Along with my coach training, I have condensed my learnings, inspired by compassionate communication and current brain science, informed by my own celebrations and mournings, to share with you in hopes that you will be able to create more connection and joy in your family too.
If you're challenged by power struggles and need some one-on-one support, schedule a FREE consult with me. I'd love to hear what's happening with you and discuss how I might be able to help.